Moms Who NEED Wine???

In the Statesman on Tuesday, May 10, 2011 on the front of the Life section is an article (that has so much to say it continues on to L7) about moms needing wine. NEEDING. needing...

Today marks the 10 th year, count 3,650 days, I have gone without drinking wine, or any other beverage that contains alcohol. This date by no means makes me superior to anyone nor beneath anyone.

The timing is not lost on me, though. I didn't read the paper yesterday so to grab it this morning and read that "Why did Marile Borden name her website Moms Who Need Wine? If you have to ask, your must not be a mom." makes me stop and think and then climb up on my soapbox!!!

Seriously!

The article starts off with, "Moms are becoming much more real in terms of admitting that the job is a difficult one and that a nice glass of wine at the end of the day sure helps," says Marile Borden.

Dubbing it Mommy's Juice (brand Mommy Juice) plants the seed that when our daughters become moms they too will drink mommy juice or desire a time out (brand Mommy's Time Out) so they can get a grip on their life...

Cheryl Durzy, wine producer, is quoted on page 7, "It's not about getting drunk around your kids, it's about having that glass of wine at the end of the day when the kids are in bed." And yet her children are the ones quoted on the front page calling her nightly glass of wine "mommy's juice." Durzy goes on to say, "We would walk through restaurants and they would point to other people with wine glasses and say, 'That's mommy's juice!' and it was really embarrassing, but funny and cute, too," she says.

Another mom, Christine Trice says, "...I want to send the message that it's OK to enjoy wine now and again and honor yourself for being an amazing parent."

So, how does a mom like me, one who is physically not able to have one glass of wine every night cope with the stresses and demands of motherhood? How do moms like me get through life without the mantra, "OMG I so need a glass of wine or I'm gonna sell my kids."??? It seems THOUSANDS of moms have this take on life (if facebook is accurate)... so what's a mommy to do who either can't because of addictions or GASP have strong convictions (religious or otherwise) that NOTHING good comes from a bottle? or can? or box? that contains alcohol???

I get that these moms "needed a platform where we can vent and not worry about being judged because we've all been there..." and so websites are popping up all over featuring moms and wine and how the two go together. But why? Why the wine? I have similar stresses, I don't want to be judged, I want to vent... do I have to drink wine for these moms to accept me? YES! I feel I would. If wine is the common factor to their motherhood stresses then I just couldn't nor wouldn't want to be part of that environment.

Well, here's what this mommy does for her stress relief AND for honoring herself for being an amazing parent:

~ Tea works fabulously for easing stress and tension at the end of the day. After the kids are in bed, I make (more like my husband makes) a carafe of tea for us to enjoy together.

~ A hot rice pillow takes many a stress away and feels SO good on my feet or legs.

~ Pray. What is stressing me out? What are the pressures of the day? Give them to God! Cast your burdens on Him! My God is strong enough that I don't need wine to unwind.

~ Quilt! Do something enjoyable. It works wonders for me. Before quilting, I read. A lot.

~ Have a cup of coffee with a friend and vent to someone you trust! Not thousands of strangers. If you wouldn't say it to your confidant, why on earth would you share it online?

~ Join a cake decorating class, a ceramic course, learn something new and then do it!

~ Go to bed, grab a cup of tea and listen to book on CD. You'll be relaxed in no time, if not asleep far earlier than if you sit at the computer with a glass of wine. ;)*

I choose to live without alcohol one day at a time. We have an alcohol free home and I thank God for the strength and courage to show my children BY EXAMPLE that alcohol isn't the answer. It doesn't make for a better time. Alcohol tears families apart. If you think it doesn't, search for a recovery website online and see how many options there are. Too many.

Wine isn't the answer moms. Shame on the Statesman for the amount of space they gave this article.

* If you are a mommy who drinks wine, that's your business! Really! I'm just upset that it's being advocated as a way of coping with motherhood. I'll take my tea, coffee and Dr. Pepper all day long.

Like a GAZELLE!!!

In the fall of 2009, DH & I did one of the best things we've done since we were married... we took Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University (FPU) course. Shortly after that, we had a drastic financial change, for the worse. Thanks to FPU, we were able to work out a budget and stay the course, not paying any debts off, but not going into any more debt than we already were!

Since the fall of 2009, here is what we have done:

Baby Step 1: Emergency Savings of $1,000 - sold, sold and sold our stuff to get there! Even though we have had to dip into a couple times, we have always paid it right back!

Baby Step 2: Pay off all debt using debt snowball:
~ We've just begun really being able to do this and have been amazed how fast the ball is rolling! We applied our tax returns all toward debt and that felt awesome... any extra money was applied to our debt and since we've begun we've paid off over $11,000 of debt, including our car!

What other steps have we've taken to help us on this road? Please don't think it's been easy...

~ Immediatley (2009) changed our Qwest phone plan to the lowest, cheapest plan available. No caller ID, call waiting or anything fancy... it rings. We have an answering machine at our home... no voicemail! Our bill went from $50 to $20 a month!!! That $30 went to debt.
~ Changed cell phone plans! I got rid of my blackberry and that saved us $30 a month! That went to our debt... (see how we've already applied $60 more a month?!)
~ Stopped eating out. That saves us an easy $100 month... apply it toward debt...
~ Stopped buying gifts for people... I have always bought items when they were on sale and then have a "gift closet." I stopped buying and started only giving what I had on hand, already purchased! I gave Pampered Chef and Melaleuca as gifts and for our new granddaughter, I made her a baby quilt!
~ Continue to NOT pay full price for things!!!
~ Invested in quality hair clippers and give the boys hair cuts at home. This saves us $22 for the both of them.
~ Stick to our budget, allowing for our own "blow money" to do with what we want.

It's been a ride and I can't wait to move on to Baby Step #3!!! 3-6 months living expenses in savings!

Thanks to the encouragement and suggestions from wonderful Godly people, we did NOT give up when the going was tough. THANK YOU!!!

Sewing for Babyshower Gifts!

One of my long-time friends is expecting her first baby this June. I really wanted to make her something and after thinking and thinking, I decided on this for her...

Nursing Cover with pocket:

Burper with fringe (with batting in the middle):
Burper without fringe: I had a lot of fun making these!

Cowboy Quilts!

Nearly after a year of moving the boys in to one bedroom, they finally have their quilts. This fabric was the first I purchased BEFORE I even knew how to piece a thing. It's a wonderful feeling to have them complete and on their beds.

Here are the boys, on top bunk:

Check out the detailed quilting by Harry! I love the random horse quilted in the
middle of the horseshoes! Oldest Cowboy's back:
Youngest cowboy's back:
Quilt top, on bed: