Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Moms Who NEED Wine???

In the Statesman on Tuesday, May 10, 2011 on the front of the Life section is an article (that has so much to say it continues on to L7) about moms needing wine. NEEDING. needing...

Today marks the 10 th year, count 3,650 days, I have gone without drinking wine, or any other beverage that contains alcohol. This date by no means makes me superior to anyone nor beneath anyone.

The timing is not lost on me, though. I didn't read the paper yesterday so to grab it this morning and read that "Why did Marile Borden name her website Moms Who Need Wine? If you have to ask, your must not be a mom." makes me stop and think and then climb up on my soapbox!!!


The article starts off with, "Moms are becoming much more real in terms of admitting that the job is a difficult one and that a nice glass of wine at the end of the day sure helps," says Marile Borden.

Dubbing it Mommy's Juice (brand Mommy Juice) plants the seed that when our daughters become moms they too will drink mommy juice or desire a time out (brand Mommy's Time Out) so they can get a grip on their life...

Cheryl Durzy, wine producer, is quoted on page 7, "It's not about getting drunk around your kids, it's about having that glass of wine at the end of the day when the kids are in bed." And yet her children are the ones quoted on the front page calling her nightly glass of wine "mommy's juice." Durzy goes on to say, "We would walk through restaurants and they would point to other people with wine glasses and say, 'That's mommy's juice!' and it was really embarrassing, but funny and cute, too," she says.

Another mom, Christine Trice says, "...I want to send the message that it's OK to enjoy wine now and again and honor yourself for being an amazing parent."

So, how does a mom like me, one who is physically not able to have one glass of wine every night cope with the stresses and demands of motherhood? How do moms like me get through life without the mantra, "OMG I so need a glass of wine or I'm gonna sell my kids."??? It seems THOUSANDS of moms have this take on life (if facebook is accurate)... so what's a mommy to do who either can't because of addictions or GASP have strong convictions (religious or otherwise) that NOTHING good comes from a bottle? or can? or box? that contains alcohol???

I get that these moms "needed a platform where we can vent and not worry about being judged because we've all been there..." and so websites are popping up all over featuring moms and wine and how the two go together. But why? Why the wine? I have similar stresses, I don't want to be judged, I want to vent... do I have to drink wine for these moms to accept me? YES! I feel I would. If wine is the common factor to their motherhood stresses then I just couldn't nor wouldn't want to be part of that environment.

Well, here's what this mommy does for her stress relief AND for honoring herself for being an amazing parent:

~ Tea works fabulously for easing stress and tension at the end of the day. After the kids are in bed, I make (more like my husband makes) a carafe of tea for us to enjoy together.

~ A hot rice pillow takes many a stress away and feels SO good on my feet or legs.

~ Pray. What is stressing me out? What are the pressures of the day? Give them to God! Cast your burdens on Him! My God is strong enough that I don't need wine to unwind.

~ Quilt! Do something enjoyable. It works wonders for me. Before quilting, I read. A lot.

~ Have a cup of coffee with a friend and vent to someone you trust! Not thousands of strangers. If you wouldn't say it to your confidant, why on earth would you share it online?

~ Join a cake decorating class, a ceramic course, learn something new and then do it!

~ Go to bed, grab a cup of tea and listen to book on CD. You'll be relaxed in no time, if not asleep far earlier than if you sit at the computer with a glass of wine. ;)*

I choose to live without alcohol one day at a time. We have an alcohol free home and I thank God for the strength and courage to show my children BY EXAMPLE that alcohol isn't the answer. It doesn't make for a better time. Alcohol tears families apart. If you think it doesn't, search for a recovery website online and see how many options there are. Too many.

Wine isn't the answer moms. Shame on the Statesman for the amount of space they gave this article.

* If you are a mommy who drinks wine, that's your business! Really! I'm just upset that it's being advocated as a way of coping with motherhood. I'll take my tea, coffee and Dr. Pepper all day long.


  1. Wow. I'm fairly open-minded, but I have to agree with everything you say here. What a horrible thing that we are promoting in the media that if you're a mom, you "need" to drink, and "deserve" to drink. Unfortunately, wine doesn't do that for me. I'm a self-proclaimed coffee junkie!!!! woohoo!!!!

  2. This discussion on wine, whether it helps a mother relax, or whether she should make it a part of her busy life is very interesting to me. Most everyone I’ve met here was raised in this area where grapes and wine were as common as cool aid or coffee. It was a surprise to me about how many people just expect to order a glass of wine with their meal. No kidding, it is so common they don’t think twice about ordering it and having it with their meal. Each week here on Tuesdays, there is a time called “Happy Hour” and it is a time for very nice snacks and several kinds of wine. Most everyone here has absolutely no thought of it being alcoholic or something they shouldn’t do.

    If I go to this activity, I ask for the “bubbly cider” which they have.

  3. Phyllis11:24 AM

    I approve (of your post).

  4. Mommy, thank you so much for being a responsible parent and leading by example that i do not need alcohol to lead a happy and succesful life. i love you very much and i appreciate that you stick up for your beliefs, and for us kids!
    love you lots,

  5. Thank you so much for not drinking. It puts a lot less pressure on me for not getting in a car with someone under the influence. I am really thankful that two of my parents don't drink. I also think that it is horrible what they are teaching kids to do these days, and alcohol is a big part of that. Thank you for being a Dr.Pepper kind of gal.


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