To Be Honest

It's 5 AM and I can't sleep.  This is SO not me.  So, here I am, sitting in my chair facing the East windows and allowing God to speak to me about how far we've come in such a short amount of time.

On facebook, I see people telling each other an "TBH" or "To be honest..." messages about that person.  The majority I have seen are positive encouraging comments that uplift the receiver.

Here's another kind of "to be honest."

A year ago March I wrote the following "to be honest" down.

Areas I struggle to believe God:

~ Really taking care of my kids.
~ True forgiveness
~ Fresh Starts
~ He loves everyone
~ He really wants to spend time with me
~ He knows the plan for my life
~ He wants to minister through me.

Through that process, He gave me FREEDOM!  Here are some of the verses he gave me during that time frame:

God did this so that men would seek Him and perhaps reach out to Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us.  Acts 17:27

...if we remain faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself.  2 Timothy 2:13

Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.  The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.  Deuteronomy 31:6.8

and how from infancy you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.  2 Timothy 3:15

Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.  1 Peter 2:12

The Lord says:

“These people come near to me with their mouth
and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.  Their worship of me
is based on merely human rules they have been taught.  Therefore once more I will astound these people
  with wonder upon wonder; the wisdom of the wise will perish,
the intelligence of the intelligent will vanish.”

Isaiah 29:13-14

I re-wrote the above verses to read:

(Ages 15-23) Joy came near to me with her mouth and honored me with her lips, but her heart was far from me.  Her worship of me was made up only of rules taught by men. 

(Age 24-present) Therefore, once more, I will astound Joy with wonder upon wonder; the wisdom of the wise will perish, the intelligence of the intelligent will vanish.

My personalization are the non italic words, in case there is any confusion.

No longer will Jacob (Joy) be ashamed;    no longer will their (her face) faces grow pale.  When they (she) see among them their (her) children,
    the work of my hands, they (she) will keep my name holy; they (she) will acknowledge the holiness of the Holy One of Jacob,
and will stand in awe of the God of Israel. Those who are (She was once) wayward in spirit will gain understanding;
    those (she) who complain (s) will accept instruction.

Isaiah 29:22b-24

In your distress you called and I rescued you, I answered you out of a thundercloud; I tested you at the waters of Meribah.  I am the Lord your God, who brought you up out of Egypt.  Open wide your mouth and I will fill it.  Psalms 81:7, 10

The sky is just beginning to lighten in the East.  I am not a morning person and can't remember the last time I have watched the sun truly rise.  I have so much more to say but I need to stop, turn off the light and watch the sun rise.  I need to open my mouth and let God fill it. 

I love the freedom that I have in Christ.  I am learning that when I fall flat on my face, He is there to kiss my skinned knees and wipe the dirt from my hands; He fixes me up and sends me off again.  Thank you, Jesus.