Monday, September 10, 2012

Letter to God

As I sit outside, journal open before me, pen lifted, eyes watching the sun rise, ears listening to the sounds of Your creation, I am reminded of the Almighty Power in which You are.  The song, "God Forbid" plays in my head and I wonder, Lord, how many times have I taken You for granted?  I often speak of Your love and mercy but how often have I thought of You as less than who You are?  You tell us to "come boldly into Your presence" but I wonder how many times I have stampeded my way there.  How many times have I lacked the humility I should possess when entering into Your presence?  And, if I am to continually be with You, wouldn't that mean that I should be continually humble?  How different would my daily life be if I remembered this?  I'm so sorry, Jesus.  You are more than just a friend.  You are Father, God, Almighty, Lord of Lords, You're the King of Kings, You are the Great I AM, the Creator of heaven and earth.  I am humbled today to come and sit at Your feet and bask in Your glory.

Speak, Lord, Your servant is listening.  I have felt You leading, guiding, directing, desiring more of me.  More from me.  I am here.  I have time.  I am listening.  I am Yours.

Where has this fire for hurting people come from; if not from You?  If You are not the foundation of my leading, turn me around!  I do not want to go anywhere without You clearing and lighting my path.

Since 2008 You have guided us to sponsor Roosbell.  Thank you for bringing us together!  When we had to cut so many things from our budget, You never allowed this dear boy to become an option.  You have made it clear to us, Lord, that Roosbell is important to You.  You have made it clear he is important to us.  You have put such passion; for not only Roosbell but for children all over the world who matter and need help; on and in my heart.  

Lord, I know one of the ways You speak to me is for me to continually think and pray about it without thinking of doing it.  You have continued to put children on my heart and mind who need sponsors.  People who need clean water.  People who need life saving mosquito nets.  You have led me to purchase the books.  A Place at the Table  and 58: Fast Living - How the Church Will End Extreme Poverty when I wasn't looking for them.  You did that, Lord!  You are leading me down a path and I can't help but wonder where we are going.  It's okay, though.  You are giving peace about my future and I am able to trust You.  All I know is You are around each bend and I can rest in the assurance that You are more than a GPS, You are my personal tour guide!  How exciting is that?!  You are taking me to Ecuador in March to meet Roosbell.  THANK YOU, JESUS!  Oh, how I prayed that this might be Your will. 

I am excited for the 40 days of solidarity with the poor You are taking me on the end of this month.  I am challenged by Live58 and willing to do whatever it is You would have me do, Lord. 

With the excitement comes heartache.  I see You in every face that needs a sponsor.  These precious children that You care so much more about than I could ever possibly hope to.  My heart aches because I know You it hurts You to see us (rich American Christians), Your followers, neglecting the very ones you spent so much time with when you walked Your lands.  I am so sorry.  Thank you, thank you, thank you for opening my ears and heart so receive Tony Campolo's words four years ago.  He really knocked me into the reality of how rich I am.  I needed that, Jesus.  I needed blunt, bold, challenging words and You spoke through him and into my very being.  Speak to others, Lord, about all the children needing sponsors and, if it is in Your will, Lord, guide them to sponsorship

Thank You for words I have needed since then when overwhelmed with all the needs by Mother Teresa, "If you can't feed a hundred people then just feed one."  You gave me those words as an encouragement to be a better sponsor to Roosbell by praying for him daily and writing him often.  Those words reminded me that You need me to hang in there and not get discouraged by all the children needing sponsored.  Thank You!

Dear Jesus, Please continue to work in and through me.  Continue to protect and provide for Roosbell and Javier.  I am so humbled today knowing You are working in their lives and that I am a part in Your work.   

I stand in awe of You.  Make me.  Mold me.  Move me.


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