Forgive the rawness of the post, please, as I share with you real life?
Fasting from computers sounded good until...
Until Mom got a Surface.
Fasting from TV sounded good until...
Until he realized Netflix counted as TV.
Fasting from listening AND singing secular songs sounded good until...
Until "my head was full of songs I didn't want to sing."
Fasting from online window shopping sounded good until...
Until a coupon for FREE SHIPPING and 35% off your whole order arrived in your Inbox the morning the fast began.
Sometimes things get blurry, like this picture. If you look closely, you will see that the focus spot is on the sand in the middle of the shot and the sand at the bottom and the waves are blurry.
Isn't that how life is? It's blurry right now but we can see things clear up a bit and come into focus and then just when we think we can see clearly, it's all blurry again.
God took our bumps and bruises and comforted us in our brokeness, selfishness and sinfullness. He met us right where we were, every single moment.
I'd like to say I didn't yell at the kids yesterday (a desire) or waste any time online (a goal) but I can't. I yelled and made the boys cry; which made me cry. I was impatient and petty. I complained, worried and doubted.
And then I stopped and asked for forgiveness. My sweet sons granted it with hugs and kisses to boot!
I stopped useless online time and got back on track.
I asked God to forgive my impatient, petty, complaining, worrying and doubting thoughts and replaces them with grateful thoughts. Loving thoughts. Kind thoughts. I thought of others instead of myself.
Don't think I'm patting myself on my back. I'm far from that. I humbly confess my shortcomings and ways I see God working in me and through me.
I don't know who the author is but I found it here: St. Jude:
Give up resentment and become more forgiving.
Give up hatred and return good for evil.
Give up complaining and be more grateful.
Give up pessimism and become more hopeful.
Give up worry and become more trusting.
Give up anger and become more patient.
Give up pettiness and become more noble.
Give up gloom and become more joyful.
Give up doubt and turn to God.
We ended our day exhausted and grumpy in our bed with Matthew chapters 1-7 playing from my laptop (before the battery died) and then I finished reading outloud. What started as an extremely frustrating time for me; I couldn't get the reading to stream from my new tablet OR my iPhone; ended with snuggles with my children and my dear husband who closed our time together in prayer.
They boys went to bed peacefully in their own beds. Yes, it helped that it was nearly 10:30 and they were so tired they could hardly walk.
We thanked God for helping us through our day and asked His help for tomorrow; which is now today.