Expressing Love

Valentine's Day is dreaded by many people for different reasons. One of those reasons is it serves as a reminder that they do not a human professing romantic (eros) love. For some, February 14th is "National Singles Awareness Day." Some joke about it, some cry about, but the fact remains - our culture has made romantic expressions of love a priority, when in reality, it is just the surface!

Another reason is they feel it has become commercialized and the people benefiting the most are in the flower, card, chocolate, and jewelry businesses. They see Valentine's Day as an "industry."

A third reason has been raised - we should express love 365 days a year and not just one. That expressing love should always be our goal and by setting one day aside we excuse lazy expressions of love for 364 days.

WHAT IF.... We changed the way we view love?

There is more to love than eros! We have phileo, (friendship) love, as well as agape (commitment) love.

Of the three Greek words for love and their meanings, eros is the more selfish love ("I want you") compared to phileo ("I like you") and agape ("I love you unconditionally). There is nothing wrong with wanting (or having) all three but at the end of the day, I want to know my friends, including my husband, are committed to me and love me unconditionally; and that is what I want my friends, including my husband, to know. I will work on having and expressing that kind of love.

WHAT IF... We changed the way we expressed love?

Here are some ways we can express love deeper than eros.

Phileo - mutual love:

• Spend time with people you love versus seeking their attention.
• Give them companionship versus pleasure.
• Instead of "wooing" them, work at improving areas of communication.
• Show them you want to walk side-by-side; not wanting them by your side (mental shift of how you view them).  

Agape - unselfish love:

• In addition to giving them time, give them your trust.
• In addition to giving them companionship, give them yourself.
• In addition to working at improving communication, see their worth, independent of anything they do (or don't do).
• While being side-by-side, be on their side. 

Change begins with us, as individuals! Let's show phileo and agape love to those around us. We can make Valentine's Day more than a day for lovers. We can make it about showing the love of Jesus to those around us, family, friend, acquaintance, and stranger.

Jesus loves us with agape love. Take a moment and soak these lyrics in, "O, the Deep, Deep Love of Jesus," written by Samuel Trevor Franics, arranged by Tom Fettke:

For my single family and friends, if this day reminds you of something/someone you don't have but want, I am sorry! My prayer is you are shown love by others in abundant ways that remind you of our Father's love. I pray people express their love to you in powerful ways that leave you cherishing those relationships. I love you.

For my family and friends in romantic relationships, I pray you are challenged to look beyond flowers, cards, chocolate, and jewelry and give the ones you love your time and trust. Find some chore you have put off and do it because it means something to your loved one. Tell them how much they mean to you and affirm their gifts. Remember, "love unexpressed is love unknown."

For my family and friends who mourn the loss of their lover, I grieve with you. Many widows and widowers impact my life and my marriage from your life experiences of love. Thank you. I love you.

#ValentinesDay #NationalSinglesAwarenessDay #Agape #Phileo #Eros

Flopped, and Not Like a Bunny

They said the road to hell is paved with good intentions... but I say it's paved with too many good ideas from Pinterest!  Not that I'm on the road to hell because of Pinterest; I am not on the road to hell at all.  Never mind, let me try this again.

I began Lent with this AWESOME idea I saw on Pinterest.  It was a wonderful idea.  It fulfilled many of things I desire our daily life to be - about loving others and expressing that love. 

Then life happened.  This is one of the last #RAK we did.  It was fun!  The kids enjoyed it and we left before we saw any of the dollars were found.  We were sneaky and it was something the kids really felt a part of.  The last #RAK we did was taping bags of quarters to washing machines at the laundry mat in the poorer part of town.  We had a great conversation about owning washers and dryers and expenses.  We enjoyed the #RAK and expressing our love. 

Then I got sick.  I was down for three days and got behind in other things and #RAK took a vacation.  I had every intention of filling spring break with TONS of #RAK but... one day turned into another and soon break was over. 

Today is the last day of Lent.  I totally flopped on the whole #RAK family activity.  I just had to tell you.  It began good, but..., well, it ended. 

Another confession?  I tried to wake and pray at 7:03 like I was challenged to.  I failed.  I slept snoozed through the #Ifpray703 alarm so many times that pretty soon, I stopped setting it.  TOTALLY FLOPPED!!!! 

We followed through on ONE thing during Lent this year. And you know what?  It was THE MOST IMPORTANT of all.  We did the #LentChallenge and read through the four Gospels as a family.  WE DID IT!  It was, by far, the most important time we spent together as a family and of all the things we could have completed, I am filled with joy that this is the one we finished. 

So, in true fashion of keeping it real, I pretty much dropped the ball on everything but reading the Bible and I am at complete peace with that. 

We did the best we could and when push came to shove, we kept the right priority.

He is Risen!

#enditmovement

As an advocate at heart, I have to continually be aware that I need to be careful to not make "my issues" my family's issues by force.  That can be hard when I am passionate about something and am "fired up" on behalf of others. 

Last year, I did not say much to my family about the #enditmovement. This year, I read the blog post I wrote yesterday to them during our #LentChallenge and reflection time last night.  We talked about the different types of slavery and what are some things we can do to make a difference.  One way is supporting organizations who are working in high trafficking areas.  Compassion International has a "marker" so you can specify a child who lives in a high risk area and adopt one of them. This does make a difference and as advocates for Compassion, it is an area we think and pray about often. 

Another way we can make a difference is simply by raising awareness.  That is what we are doing today with #enditmovement.  We are raising awareness.

Slavery exists in  staggering numbers.  This is a BOOMING enterprise.  Slavery was abolished in 1652 and approximately 620,000 people died in the civil war; people fighting over states not being able to compromise their views on free and slave states.  Brother against brother; cousin against cousin, people died fighting for the right to be free and the right to keep slaves.  Freedom won and there are many who feel the battle is over and done with.

That is just not true.  Slavery exists in every single state of the United States of America.   60,100 people in America alone are enslaved. 

Speak up!  Speak out!  Slavery is wrong.  Tell others.

Me: "What is the red X for?"
Him: Slavery.  "27,000 people are slaves and it's wrong."
Me: "27 million, not thousands."
Him: "Same thing and it's wrong."

This one knows many facts about slavery today
and is smiling because he is making a difference.

 

 

 

 

 

Keenly aware, she wears her red X with confidence
knowing she is bringing awareness to the issue of
slavery today. 

 

 

My man is an advocate, too.  He has experienced
forced labor and works hard to make sure the people
he comes in contact with are paid fairly and treated well.

Doing what what I can this small corner of my world. 
My family is aware and that is more that I could say
a few years ago. 

All the way from Kansas, our 20 year old daughter
is shining the light on slavery.  She is preparing for
a trip to Cambodia to help people who work "in the trenches"
with victims of human trafficking.  Join us in praying for her
and her team? Thanks.

Shining a Light

27,000,000 are trapped in slavery today. I don't know how to wrap my head around that number when it comes to people... think 27 million people could fill every professional football stadium 12X.  Or the entire population of the state of Texas.  27 million of anything is a lot.  And we are talking about human lives.  Men, women, and children. 

There are three main types of slavery today, and they are all wrong:

Bonded labor is one of the most common forms of slavery in the world today. Bonded labor victims are often born into slavery, forced to repay a loan, sometimes from generations before. Indebted, often through deception and a system stacked against them.

Forced labor is any work or service someone is forced to do, against their will, under the threat of punishment, with little to no pay. This is most frequently found in labor-intensive, under-regulated industries, such as agriculture, fishing, domestic work, construction, mining, quarrying and manufacturing.

Human trafficking is when someone is taken away from their home, family, or community and transported to another city or country, many times under a false promise of employment or a better life. Victims are stripped of their identity, then forced to work against their will, with no hope or way to return home.

All of the statistics, and there are many, are staggering.  It's overwhelming for me to comprehend the magnitude of this $150.2 billion dollar organized crime industry. 

What can I do?  I am just one person with minimal excess income to give and my few dollars and not going to make a difference by themselves. 

This is where team work comes in.  Quakers have long been known for their stance against slavery and they stood for abolition at a significant personal price. 

What are Quakers known for today?  Are we doing anything TOGETHER to make a difference in the lives of others? 

Isn't it time that we team up, all of us who have Friends/Quaker in our name; regardless if we are liberal, evangelical, Hicksite, or Gurneyite; and in beautiful Quaker tradition join hands and shine a light on injustice?

I would love to see an uprising in our meetings across the world.  Until then, I have a team I am putting together at #enditmovement and you are welcome to join my little family and me.   

#Quakers

It's Going to be a Good Year!

Before looking forward, I need to look back. 

2012 Priorities

1. Move on to Baby Step #3; which is 3-6 months of living expenses saved. We need to complete #2; which is be debt free - we are on our final debt (besides mortgage).  We did not move on to step #3 yet.  Praying 2013 is the year!!!

2. Spend time with my family.  YES!  I believe I was intentional about the time spent with my family.  The real question is, do they?

3. Continue Bible Studies and continue to work on a strong foundation so when the walls fall down I'm still standing firm.  Thank You, Jesus!  My journey included "Stepping Up" a journey through the Psalms of Ascent and James Mercy Triumphs, both by Beth Moore.   

4. Refresh my Spanish speaking skills... I was intentional about having Coffee break Spanish on while sewing but know I need to step it up if I'm going to get to the next level.

5. Adjust to life with my oldest daughter leaving for college in the fall. Man, will I miss her!  Adjusting.   

6. Utilize my gym membership! Get in shape, loose weight and feel great!  YES!  Thanks to the strength that only comes from God, I lost weight and feel great!  The third part of this is to be in shape.  That is my goal for 2013.

7. Maintain these accomplished priorities:  YES! to all!!!

~ Chickens

~ Garden

~ Healthy Wholesome Eating - Organic

~ Quilting/Sewing

~ Green Living

8. Relax and just have fun! (Easier said than done for me)  Work in progress but I'm claiming progress and not perfection here!

 

For 2013, we recorded our goals while on vacation over New Years.  Here is mine:

In addition to what is said in the video, I want to continue my 2012 goals: improve my Spanish skills, debt reduction/baby steps, Spiritual Growth and intentional time spent with my family.

I have a big trip coming up; you might remember.   I am going to Ecuador in March with Compassion International and will have two whole days with Roosbell.  Last July, I asked you to pray for me.  That prayer hasn't changed.  I desire to be in the middle of God's will.  I have expressed interest in short-term missions and have left it all in God's hands.  If I'm to go, I will.  If not, I wouldn't want to be anywhere He doesn't want me.  There's such peace in that security. 

I also plan to allow God to lead us through another "40 Days of Solidarity with the Poor" and am thinking this will coincide with lent.  Speaking of Lent, I really liked this post by Ann Voskamp on what lent really means.   I'll be on the journey with Beth Moore in "Jesus the One and Only" and am trusting God to take care of all the details on what I need to do to be where He wants me to be.

I'm also excited to go through the Bible study, "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp. 

2013 is going to be a great year because the Lord's hand is all over it!!! 

Photo Challenge!

I think I am up for a new challenge this December... a photo a day!  I am going to combine this with my December Joy Dare the best I can, too! 
 

 

If you decide to join me and you have a twitter account, please post with #ACHdecember so I can see what you come up with!  (@mamacitalujan if you can't find me.)

#Giving Tuesday!

We have a day for giving thanks. We have two for getting deals….Wouldn’t it be great to have a day for giving back?

"Giving Tuesday is intended to open the holiday season on a philanthropic note and put heart back into the holidays," says Sarah Renusch, World Vision's Gift Catalog Director.  I have shared my favorite links with you for gifts that make a difference.  If you haven't, today is the perfect day to look at my Friends and my Compassion choices for giving. 

Big Ideas for Families
From Beth Teitelman, 92Y’s Director of Scholarship Services, and Fretta Reitzes, Director of 92Y’s Wonderplay Initiative and Goldman Center for Youth & Family. Beth and Fretta are the co-authors of Wonderplay and Wonderplay, Too!


**Comments in bold italics are from yours truly!**

• Honor the people in your community who keep everyone safe and healthy. Prepare a meal and deliver it to their place of work. Keep it simple, healthy and tasty. Include hand made cards, place mats, and thank you notes so that everyone in the family gets to contributes something. Deliver the meal together as a family. It is especially meaningful to share this moment together.

We have a fire house just down the road - this is something we can totally do! 

• Have a family conversation about your favorite foods and the healthy foods you having been trying to eat. Take some of those foods from your cabinets (non perishable) and bring them to your local food pantry.

YES!  Always!

• As a family, empty your pockets and your piggy banks once every month! Collect 10% (or whatever percent you decide) of the money, and decide together where you want that money to go in your community.

Nice idea!

• Home Treasure Hunt! Look in your closets at home …kitchen tools, dishes, towels and sheets, toys, books, school supplies. Collect what is not being used, what hasn’t been used in a long time, and the extras you have, and donate to a program that sets up families in new homes.

Love this idea!

• Keep your family’s commitment to giving alive throughout the year! As a family, take out a calendar and mark four days on the calendar (one in each season works well) that are not connected to traditional holidays. Donate food to your local food pantry on those days. Most places are flooded with donations of gifts and food around the holidays. It’s the other times in the year that are more challenging.

Help is needed all year long, I try to remember this but like the idea of picking specific days to donate so it doesn't slip through the cracks. 

• “Change of Season” – At the beginning of each new season, think of one specific item that is needed. For instance, gloves and hats for winter, socks for fall, T-shirts for summer, etc. Do a collection in your neighborhood, building, or school for just that one item and donate. The younger children enjoy counting up the number of items that have been collected.

My son's 3rd grade class is doing this for winter and their goal is 300 items of hats, scarves, gloves and socks.  What a neat idea!

• Give up a meal as a family and donate the money you would have spent to your favorite charity.

Every family can do this for one meal!  We did it for 40 days!  and now we are continuing a different style of eating as a result of that fast and making a difference in some sweet children's lives; as well as our own.   

• Hold a neighborhood yard or bake sale and donate proceeds to an organization in need.

• Talk as a family about causes that are important to you, perhaps one that has had an impact on your family. Research to find a walk, bike ride, or run supporting that cause and join in as a team. Get your family, friends, and neighbors to support you. Set a goal and raise it for your cause.

Kids don't always know that $1,000 is a lot of money and so they don't have our low expectations on raising funds.  Encourage your children to fund raise through an activity and don't let your own low expectations of what is possible influence them.

• For an entire week or two, everyone in the family skips the “extras” Take the money you would have spent on after school treats, a special ice cream, or coffees from your favorite vendor, and collect it all in a jar. Watch it mount and donate to your local food pantry to help others get the essentials foods they need.

Very similar to what we did with A Place at the Table on a very realistic "do-able" level!

• Matching Funds- two variations! For the weeks between Thanksgiving and the holidays, save a selection of the end of the year contribution requests arriving in the mail. Each person in the family chooses one cause that is important to them, and the other members make a joint contribution to that cause as a holiday gift. Another way to do this is to have each child chooses a cause, designate a personal contribution from allowance or birthday money, and parents and extended family match the child’s contribution. Lots of important thinking and talking involved in choosing both causes from the many solicitations that arrive, deciding how much to contribute, and learning how the non profit world functions.

If you don't already do something where you decide as a whole family, this is very meaningful.  We do something similar each December and it has become one of the most meaningful important times of our December celebration.

Cyber Monday Warning!

WAIT!!!

Before you start clicking at all of the Free Shipping offers and amazing deals today, watch this video, PLEASE.

Then click Joy to the World picture:

or this one:

Please, unplug the Christmas Machine.
I started this journey in 2008.

In 2009 I shared some economic gift ideas.

2010 brought this list update to you and last year, I shared how Jav couldn't get enough of reading this catalog. 

A Place at the Table

We're on the final week of our 40 day fast.  It's been challenging, exciting, boring (food wise) and hard.  Yes, I know challenging and hard mean basically the same thing but it deserves to be listed twice.  Oh, throw in frustrating.  Here I am at the beginning of this journey.  I wrote a guest post for another site and discussed my journey as it relates to my Sunday School class that is on this same journey with me. 

My hubby and I fasted by eating what our sponsored children might eat... so we had a lot of soup.  We cut out all sweets, yummy coffee drinks, Dr. Pepper, chocolate (again, separate listing than lumped in with sweets) and anything else that would make our mouths water. 

Our 15 year old daughter fasted from her iPod/CD player/radio and sweets.

The boys (8 and 5) fasted from their remote controlled cars that were "new" to them when we started this journey.

My budget for food is $400/month.  We spent $150 total and that included a few meals out where we stuck to the foods we could eat; namely potatoes, rice or some sort of veggie soup on the menu.  If we only count the food budget line, we will donate $250 to Compassion International for their Water for Life.  That buys 3 filters.  Three families who will soon have access to clean and safe drinking water.  They'll receive education for improving hygiene and sanitation and they know to share their water filter with their neighbors so more people are impacted.  Best of all, they know that it is Jesus who is providing the water. 

The hardest thing for me during this fast has been eating the same things for lunch and dinner day in-day out.  I saved a lot of money making a large pot of soup and then we ate on it for several days.  This was good because it saved money but it made it especially hard for me since I was the only one home during the day who ate it for lunch; as well. 

One of the most rewarding thing has been whenever I started to get a spirit of discontentment, the Lord reminded me of Roosbell in Ecuador and Javier in Mexico and just that quick, it put things in perspective. 

The other rewarding times have been watching our children "get it."  To hear our 5 year old say, "Roosbell and Javier don't have that." in response to an off-hand statement, "Everyone has one of those."  As well as our 15 year old daughter asking if we could eat "like this" two weeks of the month and how many more children could we sponsor with the money saved.  W O W.

There have been a few times during this fast that one of the kids has said something that I am just blown away with.  The daily devotion time that has brought us together as a family has been a major bonus. 

I look forward to doing this again come spring, leading up to the Crucifixion of my Lord.  If you are looking for something to change a perspective (yours, children, both) this is a humbling way to journey together.  A Place at the Table by Chris Seay is available for sale many places.  I highly recommend it. 

Amazon
Barnes and Noble
Ebay

Vote for the Boise Limited Rail Road!

The Boise Limited!



Starting in Salt Lake City, the segment travels north to Ogden and Brigham City then north to Pocatello, Idaho, then west to American Falls, Shoshone and Mountain Home, concluding at Boise.

One of Union Pacific's steam engines will travel the route segment with the most votes!

Food Waste Reduction Report #2 and MORE!

Another good week. I made a soup out of leftover rice and lentil beans that honestly was NOT my favorite. But, we ate it for supper TWO nights in a row. Before taking this challenge, we would have had it one night and I would have decided to let it mold in the refer before eating it again. It wasn't bad it just wasn't good! But we ate it. All of us. And we were respectful eating it without complaining (too much). So, no waste those two days. None at all!

I did toss to the worms & compost pile the last bites of a burrito from toddler. I just couldn't eat it after he had mashed it all up and slobbered on it. ;)

The refrigerator is still cleaned out as I am making a point of actually eating what is in there first! YEAH!

Good week for reducing waste. I'm not weighing the waste. I'm just conscious of reducing it! Onion peels don't count in my mind but I do compost them. I'm counting actual food that should have been eaten my me/my family and wasn't. If I'm peeling potatoes for mashed potatoes, we weren't going to eat those peelings so that's not waste. If we have baked potatoes and should eat the peel and don't then that's waste. This is how I'm rolling with this challenge.

I started my Amish Friendship Start for bread yesterday. Today it is sitting on my stove, where it will rise all day before I cook six loaves this evening in time for supper! YUMMY!

I'm going to make this soup for supper tonight and can't wait to see how it turns out.

I made a huge batch of ham and beans for church Sunday night and brought home my 8 qt pot. So, we will either eat those this week (had them for supper last night) or if our church dinner needs them for soup supper tomorrow night, I'll take them there. Yes, these freeze well but my family is not against eating leftovers. It's what we do around here. So, in other news,

We're on Day 5 of the Love Dare! It's amazing! If you haven't seen Fireproof, it's a Redbox for a buck now!! No excuses! If you don't have the $1 to rent it, I'll pay!!!! That's how bad I want you to see it. So, find your local Redbox and if you can't afford it, contact me and I'll rent it for you. If your marriage is great - see it. If your marriage is okay - see it. If your marriage is on the rocks - see it. If you are separated - SEE IT TODAY!!!!

Saw the movie Twilight yesterday and wondering if anyone really wants to hear my review of it. Do you? My short review is.... I was terribly disappointed in the evil undertones through out the movie with nothing of God, Truth or Hope. It reminded me of addictions and desires of the flesh (literally). Should I do my whole review? Would anyone like to hear it?

Love and Logic Class starts this Thursday! Am excited to get some new parenting tools under our belts.

Stay tuned! More coming on Green living, Meal Planning and Life!

Sunday Supersize It! Foodwaste Confessional

I signed up for the Food Reduction Challenge and I'm pleased to report a GREAT first week!!!

Monday we had leftovers from Potluck and Superbowl. No waste.

Tuesday - we ate supper at my parent's house after my day from the bad place. She made the best comfort food Biscuits and Hamburger Gravy!!! We ate all the biscuits and eggs and drank all the O.J. and what little gravy was left, she sent home with us and we ate it for lunch on bread the next day - delicious! No waste.

Wednesday - Soup made with Potlcuk and Superbowl leftovers. No waste! Superbowl and Potluck food almost gone!

Thursday - Pulled Pork (from Superbowl) enchiladas, Spanish rice and lentil/blackbean beans. Put leftover enchiladas, rice and beans to be used for future lunches. No waste! (Pulled pork is gone, now. That was the last of the Potluck and Superbowl food!!!)

Friday - lunch was leftover enchiladas, rice and beans.

I think I finally embarassed my husband last week. We went out to dinner before a basketball game. There was a special that we could get to feed all 4 of us, deluxe fajitas. So, DH and my parents and I ordered that to share. Oh my! TONS of food on the hot plate! We ate til we were full and all the meat was gone. There were still many grilled delicious veggies on the plate.... so I asked for a "doggy bag." Not for Zorro, but for us! I put all the leftover rice, beans, salsa and veggies in the container and I really think DH was caught a little off guard. They couldn't fathom what I would do with that food..... next night - SOUP! I mixed up some vegetable broth and pureed the veggies. Then I added in the rice and viola! supper for pennies!!!! He knew what it was, liked it and so did everyone else!!! Score! And NO WASTE!!!

Friday supper - spicy shrimp and pasta for date night. Ate all the shrimp had pasta left over. Saved it for...

Saturday Breakfast - DH's delicious pancakes - leftover pancakes saved.

Saturday Lunch - PB&J pancake roll-ups! Creative and delicious!!! NO WASTE!

Supper - Made some extra pasta to make a complete meal, added last night's noodles to the batch, topped with Alfredo Sauce - YUMMY! No waste!!!

I am loving this challenge! We're are so much aware now and I've really made an extra effort not to throw food out! The children are more aware, too! YEAH!

I don't have a picture but one day Javi didn't eat all his oatmeal and there's a few spoonfulls that went to the worms. The other morning though, when the two little boys didn't eat all that I had given them, I saved it the fridge and they'll eat it in morning for breakfast. ;)

Great first week!!!! Thanks!